a match made in heaven

A match-up of me and planning my wedding... that is...

I love planning our wedding. I think I was born to plan this wedding. I’ve been waiting my whole life for the opportunity to plan my wedding.

I don’t mean to take one giant leap backward for womankind. Of course I cringe at traditional female roles-of-old and their lack of possibility. I know there are women out there who don't necessarily see themselves settling down, and I respect that. A good part of me envies their drive and focus. But I. love. every. second. of planning this event.

I’m pretty darn good at it, and it has been downright empowering: I forget my phone-a-phobia when I’m making a wedding-related phone call. I buck up and ask if I can sub B for A to get more of what I want for what we're paying. I’m exploring more practical ways to be creative while my chosen career warms up- Nay, perhaps I'm discovering more practical creative career choices...? Mainly I feel organized and productive. This is a tall order for a scattered creative-type whose realistic side stays firmly grounded in a tedious day job that may or may not be directly helpful to future Becky.

Wedding planning has not only been fun because it's all about what I want. (To be perfectly honest, whenever people do shine a light on me and give me what I want, I've taken to hiding in a shell of overly-modest awkward jumblywords: "Uh, god, no! Thank you for your great work. You're pretty. Uh shucks." I hope that Becky stays under wraps on the big day.) Wedding planning has been an amazing gift because I get to see and experience all of these glamorous trades that I have daydreamed about pursuing. I get to work with experts in each field, assistant-design my dream day. Sure, I'm paying them. But my secret obsession friendship/apprenticeship usually overshadows reality and I let myself really hone in on manic planning and reasearch. I'm talking letterpress/graphic design/typography; cake baking and making; photography/photoshop editing; flowers!; and of course the only area I have any legit experience in: dress silhouettes/fabric/accessories/veils!.

I can't wait to get my apron dirty with some cake flour and my hands dirty in a letterpress class- that is, of course, if an actual invitation designer doesn't decide to take me under her (of course her!) wing and show me the ropes while we trot on ponies together under sparkling rainbows hearts and stars.

Does anyone else out there fall a little in love with the [fun parts of the] process? With catching a glimpse of "what if I were a wedding ______ designer…?" Or am I just hitting the crescendo of my quarter-life-crisis while looking at too many very pretty things?