The Time: Summer 2008
The Place: New York City-San Francisco
The Mood: Happy/Annoyed/Apart Again/Needing a Change.
The summer of 2008 was one of confusion and action for me. I loved the people I worked with at my restaurant day-job, but I was still stuck in the lunch shift after 8 months of "paying my dues." I had no energy to hit the pavement and audition, and I was deeply unhappy serving tourists in Times Square. Then, once I started getting dinner shifts, my mood did not magically shift to one of happiness and go-getter-tude. I had to make a change.
But there was one thing I was certain of. Marc and I were coming up on 6 1/2 years of "us," and I wanted the one great amazing thing in my life to be nailed down and constant. We had stuck with each other through tons of challenges, including a big one staring us in the face: Marc was heading to San Francisco to work the second half of his summer associate job at a law firm for 6 weeks... after a one week trip with the firm to Switzerland for a team building hike (ha!).
We'd been living together for 2 years now. We'd functioned apart before, but were were only ever a 4 hour drive, and a 2-week scheduled visit away from each other. We'd never gone 7 weeks. And I was not in a very emotionally stable place.
Marc came home from Switzerland, spent his 24 hours with me asleep, and flew out to NoCal. But before I left, I came up with a plan- I had to quit the restaurant. I bought plane tickets to San Francisco. I gave my 2 weeks- I had to fight for them. They tried not to let me quit, "We'll talk about it later." I threw myself into as many shifts as possible, saved as much money as I could, secured a job at my friend's shoe store for my return, and I flew away.
Marc had planned a romantic weekend for us to Big Sur, and it was incredible to take a vacation instead of just spend an awkward visit with his craigslist roommate in Oakland. I actually thought this might be IT!! He probably planned this crazy-scenic drive and long weekend so he could pop the question among the red woods, on a cliff, along a private walkway at Heart Castle, on the (freezing cold) beach.
We had a great time, and we reconnected. I walked around North Beach in SF while Marc worked, and I found some of the balance and focus that I needed. What we did not do that long weekend was get engaged.
On Sunday night, before heading back to the airport, I get a text message from one of my good friends from high school that read, "I'm engaged!!"
And so it goes. Maybe I shouldn't have pushed it so much? I mean... he told me he wasn't ready. I don't know what was wrong with me to have such hefty expectations.
I mean, who wouldn't want to propose to this gal?
I was on my A-game.